Hyea!! I found it. Now I know what to do.

A week ago, I went to the temple at Pa-yao, northern province of thailand.  with my mom, p'ong, and mae'oi. It's call Wat Pa. (Forest Temple). It is really in the middle of the forest. Takes a while to get there. I landed at Chiang Rai in the afternoon and got to Makro to buy raw food to the temple. Took forever. we finished shopping at 5:30pm. We got there pretty late, almost 8pm maybe. We just went up to greet the monk there, his name is Tawatchai. There were about 10 monks there. We talked a bit, general stuff. My mom was there before and she told him about me. He asked me whether I would be a monk for 3 months if my back pain is gone. i didn't really answer at frist but then after a while i did. I was thinking about maditaing, i guess. I like Buddist cos it's about peace and calm. I want to be able to calm my mind down and put it in trance. I want to be able to control it. After that, the monks opened the tape about a monk that die and came back to life again. I was there though. p'ong and I was too hungry so we went to eat, shower and sleep.

The next day, mom and mae-oi woke up at 4am to make breakfast for those monks.I tried to get up at 4 but i can't. I tried to get up at 5 but saw that it's rainning to i felt back to sleep. I got up to brush my teeth at 5:30 and tried to go to help them cook but i don't know why i felt back to bed. I woke up seriously at 6:15 when my mom woke me up, the same time with p'ong. Everybody went to give monk those food. They took some and pray for us. Then we eat the left over at the kitchen.

At 9am, p'ong, mom, and I went up to see teacher monk Tawatchai. We talked. The conversation was pretty much about religion and buddhist. There are so many thing that i disagree of wat he said. so i argued. I talked about my own kind of religion. He asked me whether I ever go to Christain church when i was in America and I said yes, quite often too sometime. He said that I was distracted from Budhist to Christian. He said that I should not let my mind go easily. I was a bit confused. I said that i just want to seek a speritual place to calm myself down and also learn about Christianity. He said that calming down is alright, but leting urself to another religion is not good. I felt kinda sad. I told him that I do believe in some chirstainity. He tried to argue that Chirstainity is not so good and Buddhist is better. i was really sad. Buddhism is the religion that open to anybody and treat everybody well. Buddhism is probably one of the few religion that allow people to believe in other thing and doesn't go to hell. However, it happened again. Like everybody else. Buddhist people tried to argue that buddhist is the best. Chirstian people said that everybody else will go to hell but Christian. Muslim said that people that are not Muslim are all evil. WHY????? Why are we fighting each other so much. Why do we believe in our own religion without thinking about it? What is religion for? For believe and follow only? or for making us a good person.

He said that there are a guy in America who was so good at religion thing and can be really good priest and can spread teaching from christian well. However, he was hurted by some disease i don't remember. and he dremt that buddhist spiritual thing came to him and told him how to meditate and taught him buddhist. He started to believe and he said that he will be a monk when he is cured. He was cured easily and became a monk till now. The monk  said that it's about retribution. He said that last life tha guy was Buddhist and have done merit in budddhist so it's destiny that he was dragged back to buddhist again even he was trying to be other religion. I felt bad to hear this. He asked me how I tried to heal this back pain and how many doctor i have seen. I said alot and for three years already. He said that it's retribution. I might have done bad thing to some one last life so I got it. He told me that I should pray for the one I did to, the one that I owed to, that I promise that will be a monk for him or her and will give him or her merit. I was.... sad. I used to imagine that if there were to be the next world, let's say.... heaven, it would be a wonderful world. Everybody will be equal, everybody love each other, help each other, and treat other as oneself. The retribution system thing just destroy all my thought. What we are doing in every day life we have to concern about retribution thing? Isn't that mean that we do good cos we expect to get good, and we don't do bad because we are afraid of getting bad thing? This is imdiffernt from the world we are living in today. We do good to get promoted and we don't do back cos we are afraid to go to jail. THe concern is on themselves only and not other. Why can't we do good thing truely for other and don't do bad thing just for other also. Can't we stop concerning about ourself more than other? Can't we just treat everybody equally as they are us?

it's been about 4 months already since i had back surgery. I am still not healed. however, i am really getting better and better. I can walk and sit longer with no pain. since the surgery, i have gone to
- swim, saona
- therapy
- foot massaging doctor
- doctor thai style (body massaging)
- the universe power doctor :P seriously
- another massaging doctor.

For the swimming, I am doing better and better. I used to be able to swim 4 laps of  25 meter pool but now i can swim 12 laps without hurting my back.
For therapy, I improved also. they wrap my stomuch and waist up. Then they pull them apart. I used to be able to handle only 12 kg. but now I can handle 25 kg with the slide bed to deduce friction. and i think they expect 30 i think. i think i am half way done. wahahaha.
For foot massaging doctor, it suckssssssss.... This is the most painful way of healing ever. The doctor doesn't seem to know much neither. There are so many reasons that i don't like him. 1.) He credited himself too much, almost every sentence. The first time i go to his house to do foot massaging was the three days before OWU fall semester start and he said that he would get me heal in 3 days. wtf??? i have been trying to get this thing heal for 3 years and he's gonna heal me in 3 days. That sound pretty awesome. maybe too awesome, impossible. so I don't really like his personality. The first time he press my foot finger was damnnnnnn painful. he has so many equipment, a three size hard wood, a healing heating wave generator (what ever it's called), three pointed sharp head magnet. he just use all his power and his body weight to push my leg with a pointed hard wood. fucking hurt as fuck. i have never felt so much pain in my life, really. 2)so the second reason i hate is that it's damn too painful. 3.) the third reason is that he doesn't know much about my back. he doesn't really KNOW what herniated disc is. 4.) the fourth reason is that he is spiritual in the wrong way, i mean... not in my spiritual way. He's too much in retribution and fate. It about u get good  when u do good thing and u get bad when u do bad thing. Ok i do believe in this. it's the nature rule. when u do good thing for other, other will like u and do good thing to u, and vise versa. Then, he talked about the retribution from the past life. Ok I don't believe in this. I mean.... It doesn't matter whether i believe in the past life or retribution from the past life or not. I don't think it's important. and he said that he do good deed. but then there is one thing that disappoint me so much. He said that i had good merit so that i met him. wtf?? is he a doctor from heaven or wat??? stop that shit. and he asked me whether i heard the news about a guy that had a desiase. he said that he is not gonna go to help him. If he have enough good merit, he will eventually meet him. If not , then too bad for him. I was stund. He just rejected himself. I thought he is spiritual. i mean he is spiritual in the worng way.... really wrong way... If i am a good person and spiritual I would seek wounded person and heal. I won't give a shit about retribution or fate.
For the thai style massaging doctor, this doctor is incredible. he's probably the best doctor i have ever had. he saw my walking and he can tell what's wrong with me. He register as thai doctor, but actually he studied other too. when he describe my symptom, he used so many english doctor word. I was so surprise cos even doctor in the hospital can't even say it like he does. my cousin, bank, who major in medical and doctor understand most of the word he said. and he said that this doctor is awesome. He really know what's wrong with me. I mean, the doctor in the hospital said that I have herniated disc and try to fix it there. but this doctor said that I am not walking straight. he said that i use too much right hand and never use left hand. of cause i am right handed. he said that the muscle on my right hand is used too much. so my left side is weak. which create an imbalance on my body. so my lower wrist support my weak left side muscle when i use my left arm. and that make my wrist bad also. Every part in our body are connected and work together. so it's like the black out in US. When one energy generator fail, another support it. when support too much and too long. it fail also so other part has to support it. the same thing with my body and now my back bone is getting into S shape cos the muscle pulling on each side is not equal. howcome, none of the doctor told me about this? and he is right too. my back bone is getting into S shape. this sucks. so he taught me lots of ways to improve my body and threat me with massage thing. it's kinda painful but uncomparable with the foot massaging doctor.
For the universal power doctor, it actually call body power. I don't know whether it's true or not. they said that in our body there are 7 points of chakra, the point that store power. each point deal with it's own thing, ex. health power, digestion system, brain, and the top chakra help supporting all of the six chakra. it's kinda interstinggg.... i have gone there about 4 times already, the book said that i would be healed in about 7 times.
Last one, another massaging doctor is really painful also. he put a small pill on my ear and press it. hurt kod. he said there are s[pt that ink to other part of the body. . HE said that if I have a herniated disc., he 's not gonna treat me . but at last he treat and said that my body is not so good. the blood and stuff cannot pass through the body system. That's why my head and upperbody is so hot but my hands, arms, legs and lower body is so cold. :( kinda make sense. so they are not treating me to cure herniated disc but to make my body systetm better. they said they will try to reset the system.

so overall, there are so much improvement really. most of the doctor now focus on trying to get my back bone stranght and my system better.

OK. overall. from the doctor this is the way to keep urself healthy.
- drink water   (your weight * 2.2) *15 ex. my weight is 67kg. i need to drink 2211 cc or 2.211 liter a day.
- drink at least 2 glasses of water when wake up.
- avoid cold water, soda, milk, daily product
- no drinking 15 minutes before meal, during meal, and 40 minutes after meal. at least no more than half a cup.
- eat carbohidrate and vegetable the most, meat second, and oil and sugar the least. follow by fruit.
- exercise once every 2 days. swimming is the best exercise.
- drink one or two cup of water 20 minutes before exercise.
- can drink juice or water before go to bed, not too much, should not have to wake up to go to the toilet.
- no eating before go to bed.
- do some steam sometime.
- exercise to swet. exercise for muscle, and exercise to stretch.
- try to stand tall at all time. don't bend ur back down to lift heavy stuff. instead ur your knee and leg.
- sit with 90 degree angle knee, 90 degree angle wrist, and streaght neck.
- keep moving every part of the body at all time even when standing. to use muscle.
- obtional - sleep at 10pm. wake up at 5am. and go exercise while getting morning sun light.

This is probably the basic of healthy body. wannna add anything in? just put it in commend.